The #1 rule of chemo, ask anyone that’s ever been there, is to KEEP UP WITH YOUR MEDS!!!  There are substantial consequences if you break that rule!  For instance, your sister in law could offer to take you and your kids to the mall and uniform store to get them some stuff for back to school.  You could agree to go and figure that it’s the Sat after treatment and you usually are doing fine by then.  Well, if you do not keep up with your meds, you could end up at the mall, frantically searching for a public restroom (which you don’t even like using for their intended purpose) so you can puke!! Not sure what hurt more, my pride or my body! I promise, I will NEVER again break the #1 rule of chemo, I have learned my lesson!!! My poor Allison may never recover from that episode, she was so not sure what was going on and I couldn’t explain it to her until it was all done. She is actually fine but I’m sure the memory will be burned in her mind forever.

After that, I came home and decided that a shower would be a good idea to maybe make me feel better.  Well, I took a mental hit after that.  I got out of the shower and there was more hair on the floor of the shower than on my head!  Can’t believe it is all coming out so fast.  Last time I didn’t really loose all the hair on my head, this time, it’s pretty much totally gone!  I can honestly say I am not a good candidate for baldness, my ears are to big and my nose is to funny.  Glad I like baseball hats!  Kids are doing Ok with it, because I fortunately have the ability to laugh at myself and have never been a very vane person.  Anthony said he can’t believe that he has 2 bald parents now!! It was pretty funny.  John actually took a razor to his head and said that maybe will talk about his head and not mine! Come on curly red hair – I always wanted to have curly red hair!!  One of my friends said I should go all Katie Perry and get a blue or pink crazy wig and wear that around – sounds like a good plan and I can honestly say that if I didn’t have kids that would be totally embarrassed I would TOTALLY do that!!  It’s that ability to laugh at myself thing!  It’s way more fun to be silly than sad and all woes me!  Crap happens to everyone and it’s how you deal with it that really matters in the end.  I can’t change what happened to me, couldn’t change it the first time and can’t change it now either, so why try?  I have learned to just roll with it and what ever comes comes and I can be positive and deal or I can be negative and let it win – well, those of you that know me even fairly well know I don’t loose well, so there is no chance of that happening!

Everyone wants pics of the bald me and I will tell you I am not that comfortable with the new me to post those, heck there are very few pics of me out there from before this happened, so I’m gonna stick with no pics – I really hate pics and my hubby is a photographer – O the irony!

Take care everyone –

T

Posted in: Blog.
Last Modified: October 23, 2012

One comment on “What a Week This has Been

  1. Carol Keller

    Tammi,
    I just learned today about your cancer returning. I have read all your blogs and I am sending my prayers your way. You say that you are not as strong as people think, but know that you are strong! You will fight this, because of your immense love and resolve to do what you need to do for yourself and mainly your children and family! I have had many situations in my life, which lead me regularly to ask God why? However, we need to instead ask God, what does he want us to do in return? I get strength from Jeramiah, when God Says: “I know the plans I have for you, plans for you to prosper”. God loves you and is giving you the strength to persevere through all of this. Rely on him! The hardest thing for me when I had the staph infection, was to rely on other people! OMG! What a humbling experience for miss independance. But rely on your family and friends, after you rely on God! Whatever I can do, please know that you only need to ask. I will keep you, John and the kids in my daily prayers.