As I sit and stare at the half way point and say feeling sorry for myself is unacceptable, the mental breakdown is unavoidable!!

I want to eat pizza and potato chips on a regular basis, I want to wake up on Monday mornings and go to work, I HATE hats and want my hair back, I don’t want to care about blood counts an swollen ankles, I want people to stop by with chocolate chip cookies because they haven’t seen me in a while and just felt like it, I want to be on prayer chains because people think I need God to watch over my family, I want to talk to people like a person (not like a person with a hat on for a reason) did I mention that I HATE hats?, I want to wear tank tops and v-neck shirts without the lovely port sticking out, I don’t want to have to worry about if I ate enough green leafy stuff (I don’t even like most green leafy stuff) and had enough protein in the past week to continue on schedule (I don’t even like most proteins and I hate schedules), I just wanna be normal again with only the limitations I have set on myself to hold me back – not the limitations that the medical field has deemed appropriate!! My list could really go on for a while but that would be boring. Damn it, I HATE hats!!!

Now that that’s over, there are some positives that I can think of. I have a ton of friends and family in my corner making sure I get to that point and helping us in any way they can and if I didn’t have that, then that rant above would be much more woeful! Because of them I can rant about hating hats and all that other stuff and not about being alone and miserable. I learned that sometimes life has to have limits, even if you don’t want them right now.  I realized that I CAN handle anything at this point and hold my head up high and know I will get through it!  I learned how far I can push myself before I have to say enough.  I also learned that it’s OK to say enough!  For those of you that know me, that was a hard one to realize!  I like to push myself to the limit and try to take it one step farther, my plate is always full and I wouldn’t have it any other way! A friend of mine says she sees chaos and automatically thinks of me and how happy I would be to be in the middle of it.  Now I am trying to have side dishes instead of one big plate!  I have learned that there are good people in this world that want to help, even if they don’t know you and they don’t want a thank you card, or anything, they just want to help because you need it!  Once again, renewed my faith in people!  I also can’t wait for the election to be over as it doesn’t help with my mood swings!

We are going to start planning our first ever fundraising event for Tammy’s Friends!  We want to have a team triathlon early next year. “TammysFriends Triathlon Twist” – ( a normal triathlon first followed by a team one). It’s shaping up to be a fun family friendly event that everyone can get involved in.  I am going to need some help from my runner friends on this, but the concept is in the works and we are very excited.  I also can’t wait to blog about all the people we have helped and all the things we are doing instead of my stupid issues!

Thanks to everyone that is reading and following Tammy’s Friends – it helps me to know you are there and it will help us very soon to help others!!


Posted in: Blog.
Last Modified: October 7, 2012

4 comments on “We are a Little More Than Half Way There

  1. Donna Salvadore

    I love it when you kick and scream!!! 🙂

    1. Tammy

      Thanks Nonna!!! It’s not often, but sometimes I need to do it!!!

  2. Jenn Reed

    I know only the unique you I love would see the humor in a bouquet of sticky gooey hail stormed lollipops so I am reserving a big one for you. When I’m close to tears You make me smile because I know you can see the humor in any situation. I am thankful you have seen true friendship and kindness in others because you always have plenty to give. Your smile is just as contagious whether you are sporting a cute bald head, a hat, or that soon to be back blonde hair!

    1. Tammy

      Jenn, Thanks!! Only the unique you that I love would pick up all those lollipops and salvage everything and start all over just to help a friend!!! I can’t wait for my sticky gooy lollipop bouquet, I will cherish it forever because only you could make it wonderful! Truly proud to call you one of my best friends and glad I have you on my side. Not many people would let me hang out in their garage just so I could complain about stuff! Love you Jenn, you are an amazing person!!