Hi everyone –

I know it’s been a while since I have updated you, but there is a reason for that!  This first round of crap kicked my butt!!  I had treatment on Monday and by Tuesday I was hit with everything.  I was so tired I couldn’t keep my head up and texting friends and family was like running a marathon. (and those of you who know me well, know I don’t run unless being chased so that would be huge) I couldn’t even walk to the bathroom without needing to rest half way there.  My arms felt like lead weights.  Then the other various nasty stuff happened and just took the life right out of me! I was certain that I wasn’t gonna make it through and by Saturday I was feeling like half a human again and today I am feeling like 3/4 of a human. My mouth still tastes like a change purse full of pennies and my stomach gets yuckie, but meds are helping with that now.

Also wanted to say that as I often ask myself “why me?” and I never get an answer, today I was in the shower and it came to me – God has decided that by me going through this twice He will spare my children from ever having to go through it! That is the best and most logical explanation I can think of right now and I will gladly endure all the sick, nasty taste, feeling like crap that I have to if it means that my girls and/or boy could possibly be spared ever having to go through it. So with that in mind I will fight on and continue to accept whatever this has to throw at me!!

I want to say THANK you to my neighbors and friends that have helped us out this past week!  I suck at thank you cards on a good day so I hope you all get this and accept our gratitude.  We got dinner 3 nights last week and John and I laughed and said that was PERFECT, we got food on my worst days and without the help of those friends we may not have eaten.  The rest of the days we actually did great, I made dinner and we had some left overs so it was nice not to waste anything and not to have to much!  SO THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!

I hope to have a good week this week – I have surgery to put in my port on Monday, which I hate, but realize that it is necessary!  After having to have 3 lines run at treatment last time to run 3 meds I realize that I need it.

Just wanted to say THANKs to everyone that helped us out and sorry if I don’t acknowledge you personally but know we appreciate it!

Have a great day –

T

Posted in: Blog.
Last Modified: July 8, 2012

3 comments on “I am Still Here

  1. Donna Salvadore

    Wow, your mouth taste like pennies, last time it was nickels!!! So happy to hear you are feeling better. I cant tell you how much it meant that you all were able to make Jackie’s wedding. I thought you looked great. Keep fighting Tam and someday I’ll be with you to celebrate Jenna’s wedding!!! Blessings on Monday and always! Love you!
    ~Nonna

  2. Wanda Wareham

    Tammy, will you please call me with your address. I baked something for your family and want to drop it off. (440)354-6505

  3. Jackie Cummins

    Oh, Tam! Love, love, love to you, and John, and the babies! I read your posts and think, “My God, Jackie. Stop complaining!” Thank you for helping me keep perspective. It sucks so hard that you are going through this again. It makes me angry at the universe. I want to kick in doors and demand answers. I want you to be well, and have this chemo crap over and done. We are praying every day for you, Tam, for strength, courage, and an easy time of it. Much love, dear.