Today was a great day for me! My mom was able to stay for the whole day and I had visits from some great friends who I missed so much – thanks Patti, Tami, and Laurie. It was so great to spend some time with friends!
Roxy, on the other hand, had a rough day. She had a little bit of a melt down because she misses her friends so much. Being the amazing kid that she is, she picked herself up (with a little help from Mimi) and decided to go outside. She saw some friends outside playing and really wanted to play. She got dressed, got her walker, and headed out. She was so excited to be outside with other kids. She went out and asked the other kids if she could play. Keep in mind that these are friends who she has played with for 3 years. Unfortunately I don’t think all the kids were prepared for her. One girl didn’t really seem to want to play with Roxy and even though she was over ruled by the other kids, she seemed to pout while they were playing. The group of them played on the swing set for a little while and Roxy wanted to play so much that she made me go inside to find a game book she has with a ton of “old school” games for kids to play outside. Unfortunately, they couldn’t decide on anything and the other kids all ended up telling Roxy that they had to go (eat dinner, had to be home, etc.). The sad part for her was that they all were actually just running around and playing in the front, and she knew it. She could hear them. She knew that they just didn’t want to play with her because she can’t run around and ride bikes and scooters. I’m certainly not faulting the kids. They are kids and they want to run and play, but it was one of the saddest moments of my life. Roxy was crushed. She feels like no one is ever going to want to play with her. I think until today, she never really felt that different. She still sees herself as a normal kid – which she is. One girl today made some comments that made Roxy feel like a freak. Now she thinks that all the kids see her as a freak. It just makes me really sad and frustrated. She so wants to be normal and hang out with her friends and she tries really hard to do everything she can to text her friends and keep in touch, but everyone is busy and kids don’t text back. And on a day like today, she tries so hard and does everything she can, but it backfires on her. I don’t know what the answer is, but I am a sad mom tonight. Luckily Scott is awesome and has distracted her and kept her busy. I know her heart is still broken, but at least he has been able to keep her mind off of it. I guess I just wasn’t prepared for this aspect of having a cancer kid and it sucks.

One comment on “Good and Bad Day

  1. Peggy Youdath

    You have every right to be sad Stacey. Have you considered speaking to some of the parents of these children..perhaps giving them so background on the emotions that your family is having now? I know with kids they all like to be carefree and just have fun but we all know how hurtful they can be.
    Hang in and treasure your good times together .