To those of you who have been following my blog for updates on Roxy, I am really sorry for the delay. It has been a busy few weeks here. We had 2 weeks off of chemo because we finished the first 12 weeks and are now moving into 22 weeks. It was a wonderful break. We enjoyed being home together and seeing some friends and family. It was a much needed break. As many of you know, our basement flooded. That kind of put a damper on the fun times, but we took it in stride. Becoming a cancer mom has taught me a lot about perspective. Before all of this happened, I would have totally freaked out about having the basement flood. We had everything down there – hand-me-down clothes for Brie, all of our Christmas decorations, furniture, toys, a TV, guitars, amps, our wedding album – everything. I wasn’t even worried about any of that. My main concern was to make sure we got everything out and didn’t have any mold grow because of the danger that posed to Roxy’s immune system. Things can be replaced – people can’t. I am happy to say that we had a great company come in and clean and tear out some of the drywall and now we have no worries about mold.
Friday we headed back to the hospital to start our 22 week chemo regimen. We were all a little sad to start again, but it was just an overnight stay so it was pretty easy. Unfortunately, chemo is really starting to catch up with Roxy. It makes her really nauseated. At the hospital we have found that giving her Reglan and Benadryl before chemo keeps her from throwing up, but once we are home we only have Zofran and Ativan to help us and sometimes they aren’t enough. She’s been pretty nauseated the past two days so that has been rough. It’s so hard because she feels yucky so she doesn’t want to eat or drink anything. I know that eating and drinking would help her, but she just doesn’t understand that. It’s so hard. Luckily she has the feeding tube so I can make sure she gets some nutrition and fluids at night. I just wish I could get her to eat some solid food to help absorb all the meds she takes and some extra liquids to flush the chemo out of her system.
As I said, we have started the 22 week chemo regimen. It’s going to be rough. We have back-to-back five week stays coming up in August (we have a week off in between them). That’s going to be hard. Having our family split up and spending so much time away from Brie is really hard. I’m so thankful that my mom is able to be here and keep her so that she has some consistency, but it’s really hard not to see her. It’s also hard because Scott and I are only together for about an hour a day when we are in the hospital. It sucks. And also, Roxy’s blood counts will continue to lag more – it will take longer and longer for them to come back and she will most likely get more fevers as her immune system weakens. Fevers mean a minimum 48 hour stay in the hospital. All in all it pretty much sucks.
So here’s the bright side and what keeps me going every day. If we stayed on schedule with chemo (which is not likely because of delays due to low counts and fevers), we would be done with everything the week before Christmas. Factoring in setbacks, we will most likely be done sometime in mid January. That would mean that Roxy could go back to school for the second half of 4th grade, I could go back to work, and Brie could go back to her school. Roxy really misses school and would love to get back for some of 4th grade. Brie tells me every day that she misses her friends and teachers at her school. I miss my friends and students. So that is our goal – get this all done and get back to “normal” life. I feel like it is within sight – I can see the light at the end of the tunnel even if it is only a faint light. I know that at the end of this, we are going to be a stronger family and stronger individuals. I will never take a day for granted again and I will keep my new sense of perspective. I will make sure my friends and family know how much I love them and I will be grateful for all of the wonderful people in my life. I will never again say “this is the worst day ever” for something trivial … there are so many more. I will post a list some day of the lessons I have learned.
Thank you again to all of you who follow along and send positive thoughts and prayers. I wish I could give each of you a hug especially since I realize that many of you are dealing with serious problems of your own. I love you all and couldn’t do this without you.